Monday, September 21, 2009

The Madness of life

School has started and my life is officially crazy. This is my last semester of school and I couldnt be more happy. But at the same time I am finding that I am more stressed than ever. With all that has happened that past few months there are many days that I question if I will be able to make it through. Since getting in my car accident back in Feb i have gotten a new car, and by new I mean brand new with only 21 miles on it when I drove it off the lot. It is nice but obviously the payment is a bit higher than I am used to. Since my other car was totalled and I didnt have GAP insurance I had to pay the difference of the car.... it is not a lot but at the same time it adds to my monthly bill payments, something that I am coming to regret. Why do we have to pay bills? I mean really. Oh well, part of growing up I guess.

I find myself stressing daily about things in my life. I think I am getting an ulcer from worrying about them. I think my biggest worry right now is money. I have a steady job but with school starting my hours have taken a plung. Between that and our servers at work being down the past two weeks it has been difficult to get a decent amount of hours in, and my paycheck is showing it. I looked at one of my bank accounts today and just started to cry. I have to pay two siginificant bills from that account in the next week and dont have near enough money in it to cover them..... Yikes. I try to keep telling myself that money is not everything, but at the same time it is the only way to survive in this world. I have shared my feelings and stresses about this with Andrew and he always reassures me that everything will work out and he will help in anyway that he can. He is way too good to me.

Speaking of that dear sweet guy named Andrew, things could not be going better with him. We have so much fun together and it is so hard to say good bye at the end of the day. But he keeps reassuring me that soon we wont ever have to say good bye.... still waiting on that one to come true. But I cant say it enough how much I love the boy and am so grateful that he will do anything for me.

Life is crazy, life is tough, we have to do alot of things that we dont want to do and go through alot of things that are trying and hard, but we can do it. After all there is always something good in the end right??? At least we all keep our fingers crossed that there will be. ;)