A month has past

I swear there are days that fly and days that drag. About half and half these days. I cant believe that I have been engaged for almost a month. Seems like so much longer. But the good thing, I only have to wait 3 more months and I get to marry my best friend. Dear time, Please go faster. Thanks. Love, Brooke
3 months and 2 hours, I will be there!!

Blah

Found this on google. I think it says alot.
I really hate the days when you just feel like doing nothing at all. Your body is tired, your mind is tired and all you want to do is crawl back into bed put in a good movie and sleep off the blahness. Today is one of those days. I have absolutley NO motivation to do anything today. I came into work early to get a bunch of stuff done and I cant seem to get myself to focus. I want to sleep. I think it might have something to do with the weather... it is a bit dark out, makes me want to sleep. Hopefully this day will past fast. I hate this feeling, it seems to around more often than it is welcome! Stupid moods! :(

The stresses

I am super happy to get married, I really am, but I am already feeling the stress of planning a wedding. I like every other girl have dreamed about my wedding since I can remember, what kind of dress I would wear, the flowers, the pictures, the reception all of that. And now I get to make those dreams a reality, but like most dreams, they dont come true.
I want a great wedding, one that I will remember for the rest of my life, but there is one problem standing in my way. That problem is money. It seems to be the source of alot of my problems lately. Going to school kills my paycheck which thus reflects in my bank account. I cant work as much because I have to go to school and study. I have to pay school fees, an arm, leg, and my first born just to be able to go, tuition is a killer. I go through this every semester, not having money while I am in school, and I end up doing ok. But this time is different. I have to plan and pay for a wedding. And I have no where near the funds to do it. I want the best for my wedding, but at the same time I cant because I dont have the means to do it. And it is frustrating. Both for me and my fiance. He knows that I want the best, and that I stress because we dont have the money to get the best. He has offered time and time again to find the money to get whatever I want. But I know that he has bills he has to pay, and already works so hard. I dont want him to have to work 5 different jobs just to make me happy. He says I need to stop thinking about him and focus on me for a min. To let him help me. But anyone that knows me at all knows that I am stubborn and I dont like accepting help and doing things for myself. I am a people pleaser, and no matter how hard I try I just cant stop it.
Many of those around me have offered to help me in planning and doing things for my wedding, and I love the offers, it is great, dont get me wrong. But there are just some things that people cant help with, like being able to produce a great photographer for dirt cheap. I found one that I really like, and am going to book him, but not without a pricey amount. He was very nice and gave me a bridal session for free, but we still have to pay for half of it now, hard to do when we have bills to pay and other things to worry about.
I am trying hard not to worry about things like this, thinking how in the heck me and my family are going to pay for two wedding within 4 months of eachother. It makes me sad. I want to be able to take on some of those costs, but I dont have any money anymore, it has been put to other things and I am feeling the lack of it right now. Everytime I think about it I start to feel sad and start to cry. Its really not good to have multiple breakdowns at work. But I cant help it, I stress too easily. That's my life.
I just keep hoping and praying that by some miracle it will all work out and I can have the things that I want without having to fork out a ton of money. Maybe I should just elope. And yes, that thought has crossed my mind. It would save alot of time and money and worry. Maybe I will. Less stress for everyone involved.
Anyay, if your are still reading this, thanks for listening to my whining and complaining. Just needed to get it out. Now it is time to dry my eyes and get to work, cant look emotional on the job.

Oh and here is a pick of the ring incase any of you wanted to see it.

Soooo

I guess the word is out.... I am getting married!!! After almost 10 months of dating he popped the question. Hooray!!!!! He took me to St George for my birthday just to be able to relax and have a weekend to spend together. His original plan didnt work, we were supposed to go camping, but who knew that you had to reserve a camp site weeks in advance! Oh well. He had a back up plan no worries. He had asked me a few months ago for pics of us throughout the months that we had been dating, from all of the places that we had been together. He took those pics and made what I call a Man's scrapbook. He put pics on pages and then wrote about them, he even used stickers!! I love it!! Anywho, so on Friday night we decided to grab some ice cream and head up to airport road, or as my cousin calls it, "Make out road" and just talk and enjoy the view and eachothers company. He made an excuse about needing to bring water so he could bring his backpack. Little did I know that there was something else in there that I would like.
Once we had finished our ice cream he asked me if I wanted my birthday present. I told him of course!!! I had told myself not to expect a ring just so in case it didnt happen I would not be disappointed. So he pulls out a red book with a pic of us on the front and handed it to me. I was taken back but at the same time not disappointed. I went through the pages enjoying the pics and the trip down memory lane. As I neared the end of the book he started talking about all of the temples that we have been to together, which is a lot. As I turned the last page he said something to the extent of, "So what I am trying to say is, Brooke will you love me forever and go with me to the temple and be together for time and all eternity? Cause I know that I do and I will" Then there were the words that I was dying to hear written in the middle of the page.... Will you Marry me??? He then had please put your answer in the corresponding box, Yes, No, Maybe...... I was shocked!!! He said later that my faced showed it. I remember having to catch my breath and then turned to him and said yes and started crying. It was a great moment to remember. After I had calmed down he said that there was only one problem..... When he had went to pick up the ring the day before it was not ready as promised,.... so he didnt have it to give me, but he didnt want to wait either. He apologized but I didnt care, I was engaged to a great wonderful man!!! That was all that I cared about. We spent the next half hour laughing and taking pics and just enjoying the moment.
Throughout the rest of the weekend we relaxed and enjoyed being newly engaged. We took a trip to Vegas to do some shopping and enjoy the sun. I could not have asked for a better birthday present. It was absolutely amazing!!! We had about 6 hrs total in the car to talk about what we wanted our wedding to be like etc etc. We pretty much have a good idea of what we want, we just have to put those thoughts and wants into action. We decided on the date of Jan 22 2010 in the Oquirrah Mtn temple. We are super excited and hope that the next few months fly by!! I have to not only worry about getting through this last semester of school but also start planning a wedding. I think that it is going to be stressful at times but at the same time I am excited for it. So if anyone has any ideas for cheap but fun ideas for wedding decorations, flowers, etc, let me know!!! Hope to see you all there in 4 months!!!

PS, sorry there are no pics, I have not had time to do much the past few days, but I will post them soon, hopefully with a ring in a few of them! ;)